Captain Le Coq of the French Frigate said, “Old on, where did zee coq learn to speak zee English so well.” “Ahh” said Willy the chicken, ” I studied at Palma University in Italy at the Primate Slapping Institute. The University was magnificent, nestled between the Twin Peaks of Mounts Laura & Palmar, I was taught by a woman called Rosie Hancock who really had a grip of the English language.”

“Palma is also the home of the fabled ‘Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love’ a reclusive man so good at the art of love that he prefers to hone his skills locked away in monastic isolation” I want to go there” said Shemus “Just imagine sitting at the great mans feet catching all those pearls of wisdom”

“Well that’s it”, exclaimed Captain Jerk Off “kill the chicken he is wrecking the story, we are off to Palma in Italy to see the Twin Peaks and meet this Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love.” “What shall we do with the Frenchmen?” blurted Master Bates. “Take them with us, something tells me we may need a few wankers on this trip and those funny accents may come in handy.” ordered the Captain.

To be continued …..

*(Founded in 1064 in Italy, Palma University is the longest continually running University in the world)